Here’s a little secret for the one female reader out there. All men find indoor plants a disgusting and repulsive waste of space. Ask yourself, do you know one man not in a relationship that cares for indoor plants? The answer is most certainly no.
It’s simple; men are practical beings that seek function over form. The female mindset sees an empty table and thinks that it can be improved upon. Of course you cannot improve an empty table’s functionality, so instead they just add useless plants in an attempt to improve its decorative appeal.
What this actually does is just limit the uses of the table by reducing the applicable space. This table represents the entire house, full of shitty low grade plants that do absolutely nothing but take up room. You could charge rent for the average space that these plants take up.
What makes this worse is that these indoor plants are almost always worth nothing of value. When I grow an indoor plant I make sure it’s hydroponic opium – because this obviously has a financial and practical return. When a woman grows an indoor plant it is almost always a $2 succulent or vine that takes no effort to care for.
So if you are to fill your entire house with plants, at least make sure it’s worth something. Or just don’t grow any and save us all the frustration of having to dodge the jungle vines, as we venture through your messy apartment.
This represents how men focus on functionality, while women can’t even comprehend what that means. So instead they attempt to improve by using a rotten methodology and make everything even more impractical.
PS: Stop sending me these indoor plants for Christmas. I’ve used many as fire kindling and I will continue to do so.
