I went to see the movie Madame Web at cinemas on opening day. There were only three people in the entire cinema including my friend and myself. I went to ask the lovely lady a few rows behind ask what she thought of the movie, however she darted away before I could reach her. Presumably she thought I was going to commit a murder suicide after witnessing this garbage film… This was immediately after I screamed “This movie is so terrible that I should commit a murder suicide.” So I can’t really blame her for being hesitant.
There’s not a whole lot positive to say about this movie. It was watchable, I guess. I got a few giggles throughout and some of the cinematography was impressive. There were a handful of nice looking shots that began upside down and rotated to show the characters moving around from the ceiling to the floor.
Madame Web is a movie that’s part of the Sony Spider – Man universe. It’s essentially an origin story about female Spider – Man featuring the lady actor from Fifty Shades of Grey. It was so obvious throughout the movie that they had to re-shoot some scenes and I confirmed this afterwards. One scene she is calling someone her boyfriend and in the next she and him are talking about relationships with other people. The only scenes featuring Spider-Man costumes are forward-flashes, likely because someone complained that they made a superhero movie without the uniforms. There were obviously dubbed lines in the introduction. And the main character seemed to change her opinion about her mother in almost every scene. It really seemed that whoever edited this movie didn’t even watch it.
The product placement in this movie was so obvious that I felt like I had been taken advantage of. I honestly think they didn’t care if they made a terrible movie that didn’t make any profit, because they had already earned their coin from Pepsi. The protagonist essentially breaks the fourth wall to tell the audience how good Pepsi is. The final fight was under a giant Pepsi sign. And the conclusion was literally that sign falling onto the super villain and saving the day. The enormous product placement seemed to have a better story arc than the main character.
Every fan of superhero films knows that what make them great are the villains. In this film, they didn’t even bother to explain his back story. You get one line at the very start of the movie where he says “You don’t understand what I’ve been through to get here.” And he’s right, I don’t understand because the lazy writers never told us. Consider we aren’t made aware of his back story there really isn’t any purpose to his character. I’m told he is a popular character amongst Spider-Man fanatics so I offer my dearest sympathies to them.
My final complaint for this movie is the fight scenes are full of flash transitions that are likely applied from the default settings in Windows Movie Maker. I think the fight choreography must have been so terrible that they decided giving me an epileptic seizure in the cinemas was a preferential option – and they were probably right.
Madame Web has been bombarded with terrible reviews online and has completely bombed at the box office. Someone somewhere said “imagine a Spider-Man movie, but it’s all women” and expected us to applaud. There was obviously no devotion for this movie except for this cheap trick. It’s legitimately perplexing to me that an estimated eighty million dollars went into this film, without one single person actually caring.
