A Western ideal that I detest is that we somehow draw the dietary line at whale. I am not exaggerating, being absurd or even edgy: I truly want to taste the flesh of whale or even dolphin. I cannot comprehend how as humans we eat thousands of various species, yet draw the line there. And for some reason I’m viewed as the mad one for wanting to expand this dietary category just a little bit. I truly have more respect for the vegans and vegetarians over the hypocritical meat eaters that refuse to expand their imagination.
In one of my final classes at university, we were debating how to stop the Japanese whaling industry. When I proposed that there was no need at all to stop it. Instead we should look to regulate it and focus their catch on whale species that aren’t even close to endangerment (yes there are many). I am morally against an extinction of any species, mainly because I think my posterity should be able to enjoy the spectacle and taste of them in future – I like to share.
After viewing the horrified faces of my fellow students, they begin to debate this logic. Their first argument was that whales will go extinct. As I mentioned previously, I am against any extinction. However we must realize that we cannot stop the Japanese whaling industry without going to war with them, this is due to them existing as a sovereign nation. Instead we must regulate their efforts to avoid the threatened species and instead target the abundant ones.
The second argument they proposed is that whales are allegedly intelligent and therefore should not be killed. I replied to this with the acknowledgement that pigs are also allegedly intelligent and yet I had eaten bacon that morning. So where we draw the line on intelligence does not draw outside of the category of human.
The third argument I heard is that whales have some spiritual symbolism for us. My reply to this was that Hindus find cows spiritual, yet we cannot expect the rest of the world to follow this belief. It’s a type of cultural colonization to force the entire world to change their diet based on a spiritual belief that we can’t even explain.
The entire class came to the realization that they had met the superior mind and all their pre-existing notions had crumbled under the weight of my sheer genius. They were left questioning their very existence and how a local cowboy like me could dream of eating whale. They went home that night and pondered who else had this desire – a neighbor, a father, maybe even themselves?
The silver haired fox of a teacher affirmed what I was saying. I had honestly made such a ruckus just to draw her attention from the other students. She stated that many in the International Whaling Commission acknowledge that the previously enacted total bans on whaling had failed due to issues of sovereignty. Instead they looked for an alternative where we were better able to monitor and regulate the whaling industry. This would ensure that only populations of abundance would be caught and consumed, while allowing endangered species to roam free.
So next time someone says you can’t eat whale, ask them why. Then beat their soft skulls in with facts and logic, so then maybe you can breed your teacher afterwards.
