Look at this pudgy man that is travelling the world representing you. Every time you pay taxes just remember that it’s going towards Anthony Albanese’s cost to bathe in butter and to eat burgers off of the nude bodies of Yankee men.
During the election campaign he ran on the platform of exercise and used every opportunity to show off his new physique to the electorate. He did this primarily to show that his man boobs were at least smaller than the previous slob of a prime minister known as Scott Morrison.
Inherently, appearance is a major factor in earning respect and subsequent votes. Being physically fit shows that the figure is disciplined in a world of temptations and greed. However in typical political style, Albanese abandoned his weight loss journey as soon as he was elected.
Albanese’s weight loss is the most egregious lie made by our government to date. It represents our failing democracy and the many facades created at every election. We were promised fewer immigrants, we were promised less inflation and we were promised that our leader would not be an obese Italian. Are there any repercussions for these lies? Of course not, we are just expected to shut up and live under this tyranny.
So I’m calling for further transparency. Considering he used this weight loss journey as part of his election campaign, we deserve to critique his weight gain as both a political and national failure.
On behalf of Australia I am hereby demanding that we get to publicly weigh our leader every week. I believe this would be a great spectacle and truly unify the entire nation. Finally we could all celebrate together, cheering on our leader against the sin of gluttony. We will have perfected a system of transparent government and held those that lead to complete accountability.
